We realise that most of you may come here because you have reproductive health problems but that there will be some super people who may have friends or family members who have reproductive health problems and wish to know how best to support them.
We think most of it is just common sense but sometimes we all need a little guidance or reassurance that we are doing what is best for those we are trying to help. So here are our top tips for supporting your friends & family through the maze of fertility malfunctions!
Got an ear?!
“Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears!” was made famous for being the first line in William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar – who knew that the grandeur of Shakespeare would end up in Womb Room hyperspace! No matter how you communicate with the person you are supporting, make sure you listen (or look if you sign).
It is essential to allow them to vent, relieve and absolve themselves of some of their emotions, thoughts and feelings. Often women who are experiencing reproductive health problems feel alone or unable to discuss their experiences with others, particularly if those around them have not had a similar struggle. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen. No, REALLY LISTEN. Even if you’re bored out your tree pay attention – we’ll thank you for it later.
Here have a tissue!
Tissues are our buddies! Always have a packet spare, alternatively a sleeve, scarf or other soft cloth will suffice. Sometimes we just need to cry a little, wallow a lot, throw ourselves a pity party. It helps us put how we are feeling into perspective it helps to get rid of some of the grief, anger, sadness and confusion we are feeling.
You can cry with us! Or just let us cry but some days we just want someone to wipe away the tears, hand us a super soft tissue and hug and let us be human for a change. Even super heroes aren’t super all of the time!
Anyone for cake?
So we’ve decided that pity parties are good, now we need some party food! You probably already know that here at The Womb Room we LOVE LOVE LOVE cake. It’s yummy, it’s sweet and you can have it on any occasion. Birthdays? Cake. Coffee? Cake. Weddings? Cake. Business meetings? CAKE!!! Cake is the answer to most of my questions! So have a piece or two or three! To hell with it eat the whole thing!
Find something to celebrate, something good going on within both of your lives and celebrate it with some cake.
Often when we are experiencing fertility problems we get caught up in worrying about everything that is going wrong with our bodies and our lives. We should in fact use that time more than ever to concentrate on the things that are wonderful in our lives. Our family and friends, that new promotion at work, the new tin of paint we just purchased to re-decorate the living room, the new leather jacket we just bought because we think it makes us look like Angelina Jolie in WANTED.
Write a list of things that are great in life and celebrate each one.
Laugh a little…
Go Sex and the City and have a girly giggle. Laughter can cure a lot of the bad feelings we have and change them into happy ones.
Each day attempt to do something to make you both smile, send a small joke, go feed ducks, go shopping in fancy dress (be prepared for strange glares!).
Do something each day to make one another smile. Smiling makes a person instantly beautiful so don’t forget to help the person you’re supporting wear theirs each day.
Love a lot…
She might shout, she might get boogers on the sleeve of your favourite jumper, she might annoy you with her worry and sadness. You might have a day where you think to yourself “just stop wallowing and live life golly!!!”. Don’t say that, you won’t get any bonus friendship points.
No matter how long it takes for her to come to terms with what her body is going through, always show love. We’re not saying attend to her every whim fetching grapes and fanning her! But always show kindness and remember that it’s the small things which let someone know you are there for them.
Take a time out
Even though you may be supporting someone else, it is important to take some time out to yourself. You need time to relax and let go of the emotion you may be feeling as a result of your friend, or family members’ diagnosis. You’ll be good for nothing if you’re both stressed, emotional and crying all the time.
Take a hot bath, watch a movie, go for a run, whatever you do to relieve yourself of stress make sure that you’re doing it to stop yourself getting stressed out too.
Come visit us together!
Last but not least… Come see us! It’s good to talk and we’re always here for you and any other women who may need our help, advice or support. Look through our information pages together, or ask us a question, whatever we can do to help we will!
Let us know how you support the women in your life!